WARRIORS: Fire and Water
by Ruthie of the Wildcats
Summary: My first parody! Firestar is emo, Graystripe is a punk, and Sandstorm is a valleygirl. What is going on here?
1. Chapter 1

1Sandstorm was practicing fighting techniques with her apprentice Sorrelpaw in the training hollow. They were tussling when suddenly, Sandstorm broke away. "Oh, StarClan!" she swore, "I, like, broke a claw! Sorrelpaw, like, go and get Cinderpelt!"

Sorrelpaw ran away and came back a second later with the medicine cat. "Another broken claw?" Cinderpelt asked, "I swear, Sandstorm, you're such a wuss. How can you think of stopping your training for something so stupid?"

Sandstorm sucked her paw angrily. "It hurts," she muttered, "I am in, like, total agony here! Hell-o!"

Cinderpelt sighed and shook her head. "I don't have time for this," she grumbled, "Firestar's at it again." With that, she turned and padded away.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Firestar, how many times do I have to tell you, the world does not suck!" Cinderpelt hissed. Firestar growled and looked away.

Cinderpelt sighed and focused on the scratches that ran down Firestar's leg. The ThunderClan leader had a black substance around his eyes and he had grown the fur on his head long. He sighed.

"Yes it does," he muttered, "It sucks. Life sucks. I hate everything."

"Look, I'm going to go restock my supplies. You're running me out of cobwebs faster than if BloodClan had been having a full-scale war on us!"

The gray she-cat padded out of the den. Firestar licked his bloody claws. "Life does suck, Cinderpelt," he murmured, "It does."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Graystripe slipped out of the warriors den. He sniffed the air and smelled blood and Cinderpelt. He spotted the medicine cat and padded over to her. "Firestar's been cutting again?" he asked.

Cinderpelt gazed at Graystripe. The gray warrior had his long fur spiked up and a stolen BloodClan cat's collar was around his neck. He smiled and Cinderpelt saw that he had filed his fangs to a long point.

"Get away, you punk-wannabe," she growled, "It's your fault Firestar's gone emo."

Graystripe looked offended. "It is not!" he cried, "Look, how 'bout I try and convince him to go on patrol with me?" When he opened his mouth to talk, a tongue ring could be seen.

Cinderpelt shook her head. "I don't care. Just do something and stay out of my way, will you?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hey Firestar! Firestar!" Graystripe shouted at the entrance of Firestar's den, "Come on! I think you need a good patrol to clear your head!" He entered the den.

Firestar looked up from the needles scattered around his paws. "My head is plenty clear," he meowed, "And besides, why would I go on a patrol?"

" 'Cause it'll be fun!" Graystripe told him.

"Oh, sure. It's going to be so much fun, seeing how much the other Clan leaders have been screwing around in my territory." Firestar sighed. "Just leave."

"No. Wait," Graystripe tried again, "How about hunting?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

Graystripe thought hard, then said, "Duh! You get to cause the death of furry woodland creatures."

Firestar jumped up, his eyes shining happily. "Let's go!" he meowed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Like, Oh my StarClan! It's Firestar! Say hi to Firestar, Sorrelpaw!" Sandstorm shouted. Firestar flinched.

"Hey Sandstorm!" Graystripe called, "Wanna come hunting with us?"

_Say no, say no!_ Firestar begged. Sandstorm gave a valley girl laugh.

"Like, okay. Come on, Sorrelpaw." The ginger she-cat padded over to Firestar. "Hey there, hottie," she mewed.

Firestar muttered something unintelligible into his chest fur. Sandstorm put her head closer. "What'd ya say?"

"I SAID HELLO SANDSTORM!" Firestar shouted. Sandstorm fell over on the ground, twitching in pain. Firestar snorted.

"This sucks," the ThunderClan leader muttered, "I'm going back to my den."

"Killing prey!" Graystripe mewed. Firestar stopped with a paw in the air. He spun around and grabbed Graystripe's tail in his teeth. Then he ran, dragging his deputy behind him.

"Hey, let's move. C'mon already, you doddering rabbit! I'm gonna kill me a mouse or five!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cinderpelt looked up to see Firestar drop six mice at her paws. All of the mice had numerous scratch marks all over them. Their faces were twisted in pain. It looked like they had all been tortured to death. She followed them up to Firestar, who was looking oddly happy.

"Firestar…?"

"Graystripe took me hunting," Firestar meowed, "I got to kill a bunch of things. And the best part is, it's for a good cause." His furry face fell. "Yeah. Well, back to my den."

Sandstorm entered Cinderpelt's den next. The medicine cat sighed. "What's wrong now, Sandstorm?"

"WHAT?" Sandstorm shouted, "SPEAK LOUDER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I SAID–Oh, forget it," Cinderpelt muttered, "SANDSTORM, GO WAIT OUTSIDE MY DEN! I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A FEW MINUTES!"

"LIKE, OKAY!" Sandstorm yowled, still deaf from Firestar's shouting, "I'LL JUST, LIKE, WAIT OUTSIDE FOR YOU! SEE YOU IN A FEW!" The half-deaf she-cat padded away. Cinderpelt sank her claws into the ground.

"I swear to StarClan, Firestar, if I ever catch you, I'll..." She trailed off, too angry to finish her sentence. "That's it. I'm out. Goodbye, ThunderClan! I can't take this anymore."

Cinderpelt packed her toothbrush, herbs, and a rubber squeaky mouse in a leather suitcase she had found one day while looking for juniper berries. Then she slipped past the deaf Sandstorm and headed out for new and better things.

A/N: Well, here's to my first Warriors parody! Review!


	2. Chapter 2

1Cinderpelt limped out of ThunderClan territory, her suitcase dragging along behind her. She sat down on Snakerocks to rest for a few minutes. Something hissed softly behind her. The former ThunderClan medicine cat turned around to see an adder. "Oh great StarClan I'm going to die!" she wailed.

"Hardly!" the adder scoffed, "I'll spare you if you bring me a masochist."

"A masochist?" Cinderpelt mewed, not at all disturbed by the fact that she was talking to a snake, "What the heck is that?"

The adder pulled out a dictionary from the hole in the rocks where it had been hiding. It flipped a few pages then read, "Masochist: noun. Person characterized by masochism."

"Meaning?"

The adder pointed with its tail a little further up on the page. "Masochism: noun. 1. The getting of sexual pleasure from being dominated, mistreated, or hurt physically or otherwise by one's partner."

"Ew," Cinderpelt mewed, "I'm a medicine cat. I can't get laid."

"There's a second definition," the snake replied, "Masochism is also 'the getting of pleasure from being dominated, mistreated, or hurt in some way.' Know anyone like that?"

Cinderpelt thought for a moment. "Well, no one like the first part, but the second one sounds a lot like Firestar. He hurts himself all the time. Is he a masochist?"

"Does he seem to enjoy it?" the adder asked.

"He does it all the time."

"Good enough." The adder slammed the dictionary shut on his tail. "EEOWOOCH!"

"Here, let me look at that," Cinderpelt meowed gently, pulling the adder's bruised tail from the heavy book. "What year dictionary is that, anyways?"

"Er...It's...a 1983 Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary," the adder replied as Cinderpelt started to work on healing its tail, "Why?"

"I've got one of those in my den...I think. Yellowfang used to look up dirty words in it."

The adder nodded. It gazed deep into Cinderpelt's eyes. "Now bring me a masochist!" it demanded. The former medicine cat rushed off to obey.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar gazed proudly at the mice and rabbits scattered about his den. He slit another rabbit's throat with his claws and painted a mural on his den walls. "This is an expression of my feline angst," he meowed. He was absorbed in his work when suddenly Cinderpelt burst into the den.

"Hey...Firestar..." she panted, "Wanna...go...kill...some...more...animals...?"

"I dunno," Firestar replied, "I have more than enough here to finish my art. Besides, if we kill them all today, there won't be any left for the next day, or when I need to freshen up the mural I'm painting."

"Well...how...about...hunting...a...WindClan...patrol...and...roughing...them...up...a...bit?" Cinderpelt asked breathlessly.

Firestar paused, cut open another rabbit, and continued painting. "Let me finish this depiction of Graystripe with a machete wreaking havoc on the other Clans, okay? See? There's you with an AK-47 about to destroy Tigerstar, and there's me...being me."

Cinderpelt remembered that she had left her suitcase in the adder's den and grew nervous. _What if that snake gets at my rubber mousie? That's my favorite toy in the world!_ "Come _on_, Firestar!" she mewed.

"All right, I'm done!" Firestar licked the blood from his claws. "Let's get that WindClan patrol!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Cinderpelt, I thought we were going to get a WindClan patrol."

"Yes, Firestar, we are."

"But we're not headed for their territory at all! We're going for Snake–"

"I know. Uh...WindClan has invaded our territory as far as Sankerocks! We have to hurry!"

"Those assholes! I'll kill them all!" Firestar paused, then added, "And then I'll paint on the walls with their blood. Nice."

The adder was waiting with his dictionary. Firestar sniffed the air. "I don't smell WindClan..." he murmured.

"Oh, Adder," Cinderpelt meowed, "I have brought you a masochist like you ordered. May I go in peace now?"

"Yes," the adder replied, "And take your bags with you. Come forwards, young masochist!"

Firestar stepped forward. "What do you want of me?" he asked.

"Come into my lair," the adder called, "Come!"

Firestar shrugged and padded into the hole in the rocks. The adder lit a candle for him. Firestar looked around and saw that the den was full of female adders, all of whom were looking hungrily at him. "What's going on?"

"Our leader has arrived!" one adder cried, "Come, great Leader of the Adders!"

"I'm the Leader of Cats, thanks."

"Our bites hurt like the dickens!" one called out to Firestar as the ginger tomcat turned to leave. Firestar zipped back.

"Do tell."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"CINDERPELT! HELP! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME! AAAAAAAAH!" Firestar yowled as Cinderpelt padded away.

"Forget it. I'm tired of you and your emo ways, Firestar. No, goodbye. I'm going to be a kittypet with a nice Twoleg family now. You and Cloudtail were right, it is going to be a much easier life."


	3. Chapter 3

1"Like, does anyone know where, like, Firestar is?" Sandstorm asked the warriors in their den. "I mean, he's been, like, out all day and hasn't, like, y'know, come back."

"Sandstorm, I suggest you shut up, and maybe Firestar will think you're dead and come back," Brackenfur meowed sarcastically. "He could hear you jabbering from Fourtrees."

Completely unfazed, Sandstorm padded out of the den. She saw Graystripe going into Firestar's den and followed him. The two warriors gazed in mixed horror and joy as they saw Firestar's mural. "Hey! He put me in there!" Graystripe mewed excitedly, pointing with a claw. "And I have a machete! I'm a real tom!"

"Like, where am I?" Sandstorm asked. Graystripe studied the mural for a few seconds, then pointed.

"There. Tied up with vines and a vole in your mouth," he meowed. "See? It's undeniably you."

Sandstorm was heartbroken. She burst into valley girl tears. "I though he, like, liked me!" she wailed. "Y'know? And now, he's, like, drawing me, like, bound and gagged in a corner of the wall! WAAAAAAAH!" She ran out of the den. Graystripe sucked a claw thoughtfully, then took some more rabbit blood and doodled a caricature of himself on the wall.

"Graystripe was here," he murmured to himself as he scribbled the words under the picture. Then he followed Sandstorm.

"Sandstorm, don't cry. I'm sure Firestar loves you." He put his paw around her shoulders.

"No he doesn't. You saw what he drew. He's, like, putting me in a corner. He doesn't, like, love me. He, like, totally hates me!" Sandstorm cried.

Graystripe licked her ear, but unfortunately, his tongue piercing scraped away at the sensitive skin. Sandstorm shrieked in pain and fled the camp. Graystripe sighed happily. "She's probably going out to find Firestar and smother him with kisses...or her fur. Whichever comes first to her mind, I suppose."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar stumbled dizzily out of the cave in Sankerocks. He turned and waved goodbye to all his new adder girlfriends. "See you tomorrow, ladies," he mumbled. His ginger fur was disheveled.

"Who would've thought snakes were such great lovers," he murmured. "Man. I should thank Cinderpelt when I get back. I've never had so many girlfriends."

He walked straight into the sobbing Sandstorm. The crash knocked the excitement of the previous night right out of his head. He shook himself a few times. "Oh...Sandstorm. Hey," he muttered, starting to walk away. Sandstorm grabbed his tail as it flicked past her.

"I saw what you, like, drew about me," she spat. Firestar glanced down at her.

"Oh. Really? Whatever." He started to walk away again. Sandstorm sunk her claws in deeper. Firestar purred.

"You, like, like pain?" she mewed incredulously. Firestar nodded, his mascara-surrounded eyes closed in pleasure. "Ew! Like, get away from me!" She released his tail. Firestar walked on.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cinderpelt stopped at the first Twoleg nest she saw. She jumped up and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, the Twoleg opened it. "Hey, want a cuddly little cat?" Cinderpelt asked. "Yours for the taking!"

"Sure. Come on in," the Twoleg replied. "I'll show you around." It led her up the stairs. "Let me help you with that suitcase, sweetie." The Twoleg opened the first door. "This is my room. Don't go in there without permission, okay?" Cinderpelt nodded.

"Okay."

"Over here is my kid's room," the Twoleg continued. "You may want to stay away from there." Twoleg and medicine cat went back downstairs. "The living room's here; you can go in there just down touch any furniture. In there's the bathroom, which is where I'll put your litter box. The kitchen is in here. Never." The Twoleg tapped Cinderpelt's nose. "Never. Go. In. There."

Cinderpelt shook her head. "No thanks," she meowed. "I think I'll settle for a house where I can actually walk two tail-lengths without breaking a rule."

"Suit yourself," the Twoleg replied. "My door's always open for you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Graystripe decided that Firestar wasn't coming back, so he jumped onto the Highrock, even though it was practically midnight. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" he yowled. Sleepy ThunderClan shapes padded out of the dens to sit around the Highrock. "Firestar is too emo to rule this Clan!" Graystripe said. "Therefore I, Graystripe, will take over as Graystar."

"Graystar. Graystar. Graystar," the drowsy Clan murmured, their tails drooping tiredly. Graystar nodded.

"So, I'm going to make a few changes. This will now be called PunkClan. Brackenfur, I will teach you the ways of being a punk and you shall be my beloved deputy. Cloudtail, you're a bit of a rebel. You'll be medicine cat in Cinderpelt's place."

"Woo-hoo!" Cloudtail whooped, leaping into the air. "Do I get a cool collar like you?"

"We'll find some more BloodClan cats, okay?" Graystar told him. "In fact, we'll all wear collars like this. Yeah...PunkClan cats wear collars." He looked at his new Clan. "Okay, go back to bed and don't forget this in the morning."

He waited until the whole of PunkClan except for Brackenfur and Cloudtail had gone back to their dens to sleep. "Okay, so you're my deputy and you're my medicine cat now. I'm going to talk more to you tomorrow. Go back to sleep." The two cats saluted and padded back to the warriors den.

Graystar headed back to his own den. He looked up at Firestar's mural. "I'll keep this up. It looks nice. Especially Sandstorm." He turned around three times in the soft moss and fell asleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar was too distracted and got lost on his way back to the Clan camp. He slipped and fell into the river, which carried him through RiverClan territory. By some miracle, the tom was spared death and managed to crawl out of the river and collapse on the ground beside it. He curled up and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

1Cinderpelt approached the next Twoleg nest. She rang the doorbell a second time and waited. An elderly Twoleg greeted her. Cinderpelt choked on the thick scent of kittypets. She took one look at the many glittering, feline eyes that shone from every spot on the floor and promptly meowed, "Uh...sorry. Wrong house!" She turned and bolted away.

The next house she tried was just perfect. Cinderpelt felt the young Twoleg rub her fur gently, calling her a 'poor thing' and a 'little angel.' This was the place for her. She padded in and immediately plopped down on the sofa. Cinderpelt grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on to The Jerry Springer Show. The Twoleg brought her a bowl of ice cream. The former forest cat was in heaven.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Yo! Cats of PunkClan! C'mon over to the Chillin' Rock for a get-together!" Graystar meowed. The warriors of PunkClan poured out of their dens and sat around the Chillin' Rock.

"Yo Graystar!" Brackenfur shouted, "How's about we let our fellow warriors in on what's going down?"

"Second that, Brother!" Cloudtail called. Graystar nodded.

"Yeah, so we're all real sad about the death of Firestar and all, but this is a new beginning. A new, greater Clan is gonna rise from the ashes of the old. The Dawn of PunkClan is now!" The Clan roared in agreement.

"Brackenfur, my most trusted deputy! See to it that every cat gets a collar!"

Brackenfur nodded and started handing out collars. Fernpaw looked skeptically at her new collar. "Where did you get these, Brackenfur?" she asked.

"Oh, me and Graystar and Cloudtail all went out last night and hunted down some BloodClan warriors. We demanded their collars or we said we'd make Scourges out of them all. They whipped those suckers right off and ran."

Longtail looked at his collar as well before fastening it around his neck. "So, do we have to spike our hair as well?" he asked Graystar.

"Whatever punks you out the most, Longtail."

Longtail nodded and started to spike his pelt into a Mohawk with mud. Goldenflower padded over and helped him. When he was finished, he did the same for her.

Graystar nodded. PunkClan was growing well.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar awoke to someone gently mewing his name. He groaned and rolled over. "Ugh. I feel like a fish..." he muttered.

"Aww, don't worry, lovey, we'll have you dry in a jiffy!" the sweet voice continued. Firestar smiled drowsily.

"Are you my mother?" he asked.

"Nope. Name's Heavystep, RiverClan rogue!"

Firestar's eyes shot open. Heavystep was a large, muscular, male cat. His voice should not be so high. The ginger tom turned his head to see Heavystep standing over him. There was a flower tucked behind his ear.

"RiverClan...Rogue?" Firestar asked, "Why did you leave, or get kicked out?"

"They kicked my out 'cause I'm gay," Heavystep replied, "I swear, I had no idea I was until I noticed just how attractive Mudfur was." He sighed dreamily.

Firestar backed away slowly from Heavystep. He blinked a couple of times, then saw his reflection in the river. "Great!" he spat, "My mascara's running."

"Borrow some of mine," Heavystep offered. Firestar reluctantly took the tube and reapplied the makeup to his face. He sighed.

"Look, Heavystep, it's been real, but–"

"You know, you're even better-looking than Mudfur," Heavystep meowed, coming closer to Firestar, "Do you work out?"

"Look, Heavystep. I don't mind the fact that you're a homosexual cat, all right?" Firestar mewed, "But I'm straight. Okay? I'm not like you." He paused, then added, "Can I keep this?" He pointed to the mascara tube.

"Sure, I've got tons of the stuff." Heavystep sighed and gazed down at the river. "I just wish there was a cat out there for me. Someone strong and buff. A great lover. I wish you were like me."

"But, I'm not. You're gay. I'm straight. You're a sissy. I'm emo. There's a difference. It'd never work out." Firestar waved goodbye, then jumped into the river, the mascara tube clenched in his jaws.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cinderpelt looked up from her ice cream to see her Twoleg owner standing over her. "I found these in your suitcase," the Twoleg growled, holding out a few herbs, "Who gave you these?"

"I found them," Cinderpelt replied calmly.

"You found them. My own cat is doing drugs!" The Twoleg started to cry. "I thought you had good morals! I thought you were above that! I guess I was wrong!"

"Drugs? Drugs? Who said anything about drugs? Those are healing herbs, you stupid Twoleg! Now let me watch Jerry."

The Twoleg stopped crying. "I opened up my home to you! I thought you were a good little kitty! But you brought illegal substances into my own home! I can't believe it! Back to the streets with you!" And they hurled her out the door.

"Hey! Gimme back my–" Cinderpelt was cut off by her suitcase smacking her upside the head as the Twoleg threw it out after her. "Th-thanks..." she mumbled dizzily and blacked out.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar stopped to reapply his mascara. "I wonder what's been going on in ThunderClan while I was away," he murmured. "Maybe Sandstorm decided to go for good." He inspected his reflection, curling his lip. "Life sucks. Especially if there's a Sandstorm involved. 'Like, Oh my StarClan!' " He raised his voice to imitate the annoying warrior's.

"Yeah. Like, Oh my StarClan. He's here," someone growled behind him. Firestar whipped around. It was Sandstorm. He saw a BloodClan collar around her neck and two smaller ones around her wrists. She was wearing mascara as well.

"Sandstorm?" Firestar meowed, "Holy crap! You look like me!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sandstorm scoffed, sitting a few tail-lengths away from him. "I was thinking: Why not be like Firestar? Maybe then I'd, li–, ahem, understand." She stopped herself before the word "like" could escape her mouth.

Firestar was stunned. "You'd do that for me?"

"Sure. Why not? And now I do understand. Bluestar, Runningwind, Brindleface, Redtail, Lionheart, Spottedleaf, Yellowfang, Silverstream, Willowpelt, and Swiftpaw all died way too soon. Life sucks. S-U-C-K-S."

Firestar blinked a few times, the whole scenario registering at last. He padded over to Sandstorm's side and put his paw over hers. The ginger tom dug his claws into the soft pad of her paw. Sandstorm purred happily as blood ran down to the ground. Firestar bit her ear. "Let's go back."


	5. Chapter 5

1Cinderpelt awoke to daylight shining on her face. She felt sick to her stomach. "Ugh," she groaned. "Ice cream was not meant for cats. I better go hunt and wash this taste out with some mouse." The dark gray she-cat limped away slowly, dragging her suitcase along behind her. "Maybe I should go back to ThunderClan. I'll find an apprentice and train them as fast as I can. Then I can retire with the elders and never have to clean Firestar up again."

She nodded. It was a good plan. Brightheart was going to have kits soon. She could train one of them. Cinderpelt started back to the forest with a hopeful heart.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Graystar awoke with a good feeling. ThunderClan was no more. There was only PunkClan. He jumped up on top of the Chillin' Rock and called the Clan together. There was something he had to tell them all.

"All right, so, I decided that since the other Clans around here think we're still ThunderClan, we have to move. We have to find a place where we'll be PunkClan forever!" There were yowls of agreement from the assembled warriors. " 'Kay. Brackenfur, most trusted deputy-o-mine, start packin'!"

"Brightheart is going to have kits soon, Graystar," Cloudtail meowed. "Can we wait for them to be born?"

"Come on, Cloudtail," Longtail mewed. "Would you rather the kits be born at our new home, or have to carry them all the way there?"

Cloudtail immediately decided to leave before Brightheart kitted. Graystar nodded. "All right. Let's go."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar had never felt so close to Sandstorm before. The two of them clawed and bit each other all day. When they were hungry, they hunted together, Firestar holding prey down while Sandstorm tortured it. They licked their red claws happily in the shade.

"Sandstorm...I think I love you," Firestar whispered. "No other cat understands how I feel."

"I think I love you, too, Firestar," Sandstorm mewed, "I mean, you showed me how bad life is. I know how to rid myself of that stress now."

She hesitated, unsure if her next question would go against the code Firestar had told her, the Emo Code. "Firestar...do you want to have kits?"

Firestar grinned. "Are we going to eat them once their born, or use their organs for pagan MoonClan rituals, or abandon them in the wilderness and watch them die?" he asked. Sandstorm shrugged, brushing her newly-grown fur from her eyes.

"All right, but I want to keep two of them. We can do that stuff to the rest."

Firestar nodded and led Sandstorm into the dark cave beneath the Thunderpath where the ShadowClan warriors, Whitethroat and Littlecloud, had been sheltered. The two of them mated and Sandstorm scratched Firestar the whole time they did.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_A few moons passed. Graystar, unfortunately, led PunkClan to the forest outside a laboratory. Every one of the cats was caught and experimented on. They were then released back into the wild. Every cats' memory had been wiped. Graystar was Graystripe again. They wandered until they made it back to ThunderClan territory._

_Firestar and Sandstorm had their kits, but only two were born. They could not conduct all the rituals and such that had been planned, since Firestar loved Sandstorm too much to go against her wishes. Discouraged, Firestar gave up being emo to raise his two new daughters, Leafkit and Squirrelkit. Sandstorm followed suit, and the four lived happily in their old camp until the rest of the Clan came back._

_Cinderpelt finally managed to return to her old position as medicine cat. ThunderClan lived happily ever after._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_And what of Heavystep, the gay RiverClan cat? Firestar's words about how he would never find a mate if he was gay sunk in. He straightened himself out and returned to RiverClan. There he was the envy of all the she-cats._

**Ze End!**

A/N: Well, there you have it. Signs that I have indeed lost all my sanity.

Saya: I think they knew that already, Ruthie-sama. --

Ruthie-sama: Yeah, but this is solid proof here! No straight-thinking person would ever dream of writing something this...

Riversong: Off the wall?

Sunpaw: Disturbing? XP

Sora: Hilarious? XD

Ruthie-sama: E all of the above.


End file.
